Is it nice not being me?

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Delays. Ugh. Delays are boring.

I would apologize, but I do not feel the need to do such. This occasion is not meriting my apologies.

I have a life to live, you know. I have things I do, things I do not do. While busy, updating a blog is not an activity that I do.

Over the next two and a half weeks I will be busy, as I have been for a while anyhow. If you feel the need to search out why I will be incapacitated, feel free to ask, although I am doubtful you will receive a prompt answer.

You keep going on about how you're "bored" all the time, but whenever people ask questions, you dismiss them because they're "not interesting enough." What would you consider an interesting question that will not end with you offending people?

Anonymous

That is an interesting clause you put at the end. I take it you believe that most questions that I deem interesting will end in me offending others?

An interesting question is a question that is not boring, it is as simple as that. If you are unable to come up with such a question, then you are likely not a person who leads an interesting life, physically, emotionally, or intellectually.

Is it nice not being me?: 221B Baker Street

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

Sherlock carefully pushes the door to 221 Baker Street open, wary of any possible noise. He may have just observed John going out (Lestrade’s, will not be back for another three hours at minimum), but Mrs. Hudson is possibly still present.

The scent of Mrs. Hudson’s perfume and herbs hits…

Jim was bored. He was always bored. His clients were so bland and so few of them had truly creative ideas. Run of the mill stuff mostly. “Dear Jim, won’t you please help me kill so and so. Dear Jim won’t you please help me gain lots of money, Dear Jim, blah blah blah. “  

Honestly the whole idea of “Consulting Criminal” had been fun and interesting at first but it really was beginning to become boring. Just like everything else. He had been young when he started this. Twenties. At first it had been a novel idea, fooling the Yard. It had been so much fun, watching them scramble around like little ants trying to figure it out. 

Well that didn’t last for long, he was even considering just dropping the whole operation and finding something else to do, something new, something interesting; but then lovely Sherlock had shown up. He showed up and began to unravel all his plans and Jim loved him for it, well as close to love as he could get. 

That was the reason he was there at 221b that night. Sherlock was there. He couldn’t resist visiting while the good doctor was out and well Jim couldn’t resist Sherlock. 

The floorboard creeks under him and for a moment he stops and after a few seconds continues on his path. Eventually he gets to the top and leans against  the door frame. Sherlock had undoubtedly noticed his presence by now. He had no intention of hiding his arrival or well anything. This was fun. 

Sherlock sighs. Intermittent steps, cautious, broad daylight—

“Moriarty,” Sherlock greets, “how pleasant to run into you here.”

“Oh well aren’t I always pleasant?” he said a light tone of amusement coloring his voice.  ”Though I must say, this is a bit risky even for you. Sneaking around. Checking on John. tut tut love.” 

“I am not checking on John,” Sherlock replies tersely, snarl tugging at his lip, “I am checking on my possessions, which John has been kind enough not to touch.” He straightens his back and lifts his chin a bit. “Neither of us should be here, much less together. John thinks us both dead. We would do best to continue this conversation elsewhere.” 

“Oh come on Sherlock we both know what you came here for. You don’t care for things. No no no you came here because you care.” Jim smirked and pushed himself from the wooden frame of the door and took a few slow steps toward Sherlock. “I think you want him to catch you. You came back into town when you know it would be best to be far, far away. You came to the flat, through the front door no less, and in the light of day.” he said his dark eyes gleaming with mischief. 

“John is not home, and nor will he be for another three hours,” Sherlock growls, “I do not want him to catch me, I want consolation that my work is still intact for when I can return home.” He takes a step towards Moriarty and tilts his head downward predatorially. ”It is not my wish to do this, but I have no choice. Not with what you did—with what you’re doing.”

Jim couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the detective’s words. “Oh come on your work was boring! You rarely had interesting cases and when you did it was because of me.” Jim looked up at the taller man. “It’s not me who’s stopping you.” 

“You may not be stopping me,” Sherlock replies, “but putting out the ultimatum of my life or John’s is pretty close to it.” His lip twitches in agitation. “You know what you’ve done, and you know what it causes. Stop. Playing. Dumb.”

Jim couldn’t help but chuckle. “Why? Seeing you get so flustered is just so…interesting and fun. Why would I stop?”

“I’m not flustered,” Sherlock snaps, “I’m angry. Angry that you have put this upon me, upon John—” He gestures vaguely towards the door. “—and I’m angry that you have taken my life from me and left a gaping hole in its place.” He stops for a moment to compose himself. “Why are you here—oh right, you’re bored. Just like me.”

“I must say seeing you so angry does have all sorts of thoughts running through my head. I could tell you. All these little plans in my head that could ease our boredom.” he breathed, a devilish smirk on his features. He doubted Sherlock would have any idea about what he truly meant. Brilliant the man may be but the virgin was surprisingly innocent in that area. 

“Please tell, since easing boredom is what matters right now,” Sherlock retorts, “and the flat which John lives in is the best place to ease boredom. It is highly recommended that we leave.” 

Jim smirked and moved forward till he was no more then a few inches away from the taller man. “I rather like it here. Sort of.. homey..don’t you think? As for what I’m thinking, well wouldn’t you like to know. I imagine I could make even The Woman blush.” 

“It does not matter who would blush or wouldn’t,” Sherlock says, voice smooth and composed, “the Woman is merely that: a woman.” He pointedly ignores the analysis of the flat.

Rolling his eyes Jim moved away from Sherlock and walked about the room, his long fingers dragging over the table and chairs. “For someone so brilliant you can be awfully dull.” 

Sherlock shuts his eyes and draws in a slow breath. “I am not the one who made myself that way, Moriarty.” He bites out the name bitterly. This was the man that kidnapped John. This was the man that made him jump of a building. This was the man who had taken away Sherlock’s entire life, and despite his natural inclination to stay calm, Sherlock finds the beginnings of fury stirring in his gut.

“Getting a bit testy aren’t we?” Moriarty tsked moving away from the man and instead toward the fireplace his fingers reaching up to trail across the dusty surface. “Must hide those pesky emotions better. Wouldn’t want anyone to actually think you’re human now would we? After all that is what you want isn’t it? For them to think you’re a machine, for them not to care.” he said carefully turning his head just a fraction towards the man. 

“It does not matter what other people think of me.” Sherlock purses his lips and continues his stare, green gaze boring into the wall, studying the pattern. Perhaps there is some kind of mathematical formula to describe it…?

Sherlock realizes that it has been too long since he was last in his flat and that the little insignificant details are distracting from the real issue: Moriarty. Sherlock flicks his eyes back to his foil before saying: “It matters little to me whether or not they see me for what I really am.”

Moriarty smirked. ” Oh but we both know that’s not quite true. You care quite alot too. Honestly did you think I wasn’t looking? “You machine!” isn’t that was he called you? How funny.” he chuckled before moving towards the door. “Well this has all been great fun but darling Sherlock you’ve gotten the slightest bit annoying. I think you need a Doctor, one who used to have a psychosomatic limp perhaps?”   

Sherlock scoffs. “It matters not what I need. You, however, need to leave. John needs both of us to leave, before he walks in on our living funeral.”

Oh wonderful, it seems that I am obtaining a cult following—just what I had always dreamed. If only you had all been around before I died.
Notes: Predictably Sherlockian. Notes will follow based on individual analysis.Note to self: compile complete analysis on each follower individually.the-lunatic-in-the-closet: Has automatically playing music. Vastly British. Notable musician/actors in playlist: John Barrowman, Arthur Darvill. Blogs mostly actor Benedict Cumberbatch. Analysis: Probably American, wanting to be British. Remember: investigate this “Johnlock.”thatarmydoctor: Impersonator of John. Again. givemeyourheartache:Regular tumblrer. Seems to like show “Supernatural.” Seems sentimental.00twinlove27: immature. Likely female. Enjoys anime and homosexual male pairings. John People I know would be fairly disturbed by the background alone.xenofsound: You do realize that it’s spelled “zen,” right? Pokemon. Doctor Who. British actors. With dogs, apparently.did-you-deduced-that-i: Vocaloid. Supernatural. Music box music that eludes people for half an hour as they search for the source of it.cheesestoleyourhair: Hunger Games. Harry Potter. Regular tumblrer if you discount the photograph of cat Taylor Swift.awesomeshyweirdo: Likes anime and other “random things.” Not much to say other than I know of people similar.
Conclusions: Mostly female, fans of homosexual male pairings. Seems to be general pattern, though does not apply to all.

Oh wonderful, it seems that I am obtaining a cult following—just what I had always dreamed. If only you had all been around before I died.

Notes: Predictably Sherlockian. Notes will follow based on individual analysis.
Note to self: compile complete analysis on each follower individually.
the-lunatic-in-the-closet: Has automatically playing music. Vastly British. Notable musician/actors in playlist: John Barrowman, Arthur Darvill. Blogs mostly actor Benedict Cumberbatch. Analysis: Probably American, wanting to be British. Remember: investigate this “Johnlock.”
thatarmydoctor: Impersonator of John. Again. 
givemeyourheartache:Regular tumblrer. Seems to like show “Supernatural.” Seems sentimental.
00twinlove27: immature. Likely female. Enjoys anime and homosexual male pairings. John People I know would be fairly disturbed by the background alone.
xenofsound: You do realize that it’s spelled “zen,” right? Pokemon. Doctor Who. British actors. With dogs, apparently.
did-you-deduced-that-i: Vocaloid. Supernatural. Music box music that eludes people for half an hour as they search for the source of it.
cheesestoleyourhair: Hunger Games. Harry Potter. Regular tumblrer if you discount the photograph of cat Taylor Swift.
awesomeshyweirdo: Likes anime and other “random things.” Not much to say other than I know of people similar.

Conclusions: Mostly female, fans of homosexual male pairings. Seems to be general pattern, though does not apply to all.

Is it nice not being me?: 221B Baker Street

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

the-consulting-criminal:

your-heads-must-be-so-boring:

Sherlock carefully pushes the door to 221 Baker Street open, wary of any possible noise. He may have just observed John going out (Lestrade’s, will not be back for another three hours at minimum), but Mrs. Hudson is possibly still present.

The scent of Mrs. Hudson’s perfume and herbs hits…

Jim was bored. He was always bored. His clients were so bland and so few of them had truly creative ideas. Run of the mill stuff mostly. “Dear Jim, won’t you please help me kill so and so. Dear Jim won’t you please help me gain lots of money, Dear Jim, blah blah blah. “  

Honestly the whole idea of “Consulting Criminal” had been fun and interesting at first but it really was beginning to become boring. Just like everything else. He had been young when he started this. Twenties. At first it had been a novel idea, fooling the Yard. It had been so much fun, watching them scramble around like little ants trying to figure it out. 

Well that didn’t last for long, he was even considering just dropping the whole operation and finding something else to do, something new, something interesting; but then lovely Sherlock had shown up. He showed up and began to unravel all his plans and Jim loved him for it, well as close to love as he could get. 

That was the reason he was there at 221b that night. Sherlock was there. He couldn’t resist visiting while the good doctor was out and well Jim couldn’t resist Sherlock. 

The floorboard creeks under him and for a moment he stops and after a few seconds continues on his path. Eventually he gets to the top and leans against  the door frame. Sherlock had undoubtedly noticed his presence by now. He had no intention of hiding his arrival or well anything. This was fun. 

Sherlock sighs. Intermittent steps, cautious, broad daylight—

“Moriarty,” Sherlock greets, “how pleasant to run into you here.”

“Oh well aren’t I always pleasant?” he said a light tone of amusement coloring his voice.  ”Though I must say, this is a bit risky even for you. Sneaking around. Checking on John. tut tut love.” 

“I am not checking on John,” Sherlock replies tersely, snarl tugging at his lip, “I am checking on my possessions, which John has been kind enough not to touch.” He straightens his back and lifts his chin a bit. “Neither of us should be here, much less together. John thinks us both dead. We would do best to continue this conversation elsewhere.” 

“Oh come on Sherlock we both know what you came here for. You don’t care for things. No no no you came here because you care.” Jim smirked and pushed himself from the wooden frame of the door and took a few slow steps toward Sherlock. “I think you want him to catch you. You came back into town when you know it would be best to be far, far away. You came to the flat, through the front door no less, and in the light of day.” he said his dark eyes gleaming with mischief. 

“John is not home, and nor will he be for another three hours,” Sherlock growls, “I do not want him to catch me, I want consolation that my work is still intact for when I can return home.” He takes a step towards Moriarty and tilts his head downward predatorially. ”It is not my wish to do this, but I have no choice. Not with what you did—with what you’re doing.”

Jim couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the detective’s words. “Oh come on your work was boring! You rarely had interesting cases and when you did it was because of me.” Jim looked up at the taller man. “It’s not me who’s stopping you.” 

“You may not be stopping me,” Sherlock replies, “but putting out the ultimatum of my life or John’s is pretty close to it.” His lip twitches in agitation. “You know what you’ve done, and you know what it causes. Stop. Playing. Dumb.”

Jim couldn’t help but chuckle. “Why? Seeing you get so flustered is just so…interesting and fun. Why would I stop?”

“I’m not flustered,” Sherlock snaps, “I’m angry. Angry that you have put this upon me, upon John—” He gestures vaguely towards the door. “—and I’m angry that you have taken my life from me and left a gaping hole in its place.” He stops for a moment to compose himself. “Why are you here—oh right, you’re bored. Just like me.”

“I must say seeing you so angry does have all sorts of thoughts running through my head. I could tell you. All these little plans in my head that could ease our boredom.” he breathed, a devilish smirk on his features. He doubted Sherlock would have any idea about what he truly meant. Brilliant the man may be but the virgin was surprisingly innocent in that area. 

“Please tell, since easing boredom is what matters right now,” Sherlock retorts, “and the flat which John lives in is the best place to ease boredom. It is highly recommended that we leave.” 

Jim smirked and moved forward till he was no more then a few inches away from the taller man. “I rather like it here. Sort of.. homey..don’t you think? As for what I’m thinking, well wouldn’t you like to know. I imagine I could make even The Woman blush.” 

“It does not matter who would blush or wouldn’t,” Sherlock says, voice smooth and composed, “the Woman is merely that: a woman.” He pointedly ignores the analysis of the flat.

Rolling his eyes Jim moved away from Sherlock and walked about the room, his long fingers dragging over the table and chairs. “For someone so brilliant you can be awfully dull.” 

Sherlock shuts his eyes and draws in a slow breath. “I am not the one who made myself that way, Moriarty.” He bites out the name bitterly. This was the man that kidnapped John. This was the man that made him jump of a building. This was the man who had taken away Sherlock’s entire life, and despite his natural inclination to stay calm, Sherlock finds the beginnings of fury stirring in his gut.

“Getting a bit testy aren’t we?” Moriarty tsked moving away from the man and instead toward the fireplace his fingers reaching up to trail across the dusty surface. “Must hide those pesky emotions better. Wouldn’t want anyone to actually think you’re human now would we? After all that is what you want isn’t it? For them to think you’re a machine, for them not to care.” he said carefully turning his head just a fraction towards the man. 

"It does not matter what other people think of me." Sherlock purses his lips and continues his stare, green gaze boring into the wall, studying the pattern. Perhaps there is some kind of mathematical formula to describe it…?

Sherlock realizes that it has been too long since he was last in his flat and that the little insignificant details are distracting from the real issue: Moriarty. Sherlock flicks his eyes back to his foil before saying: “It matters little to me whether or not they see me for what I really am.”

Notes: Sherlockian. Harry Potter fan. Reblogs many things. Standard Tumblrer.

Notes: Sherlockian. Harry Potter fan. Reblogs many things. Standard Tumblrer.

Aw, so mean, Sherly! Someone needs an interesting case.

Anonymous

Sherlock does need an interesting case. Oh who did teach you your deduction skills? Was it Lestrade? Or perhaps Anderson? Either way, you need not point out the obvious. That is, afterall, why it is called obvious information.

My phrasing implies nothing of the kind. I meant only that a significant amount of time has elapsed since our last meeting, and I would like to reissue my proposition to have dinner. Goodness, must I speak this way with you? Have you no room in that big brain of yours for coquettish rhetoric? - IA

Anonymous

No, I do not.

I must decline dinner; you know how difficult is to keep up appearances when you are dead.

Hm, good to know. Should I become Anderson, then? We both like dinosaurs, so I've got a head-start.

Anonymous

If you are not already Anderson I do not see how you intend to become him. 

I do see similarities between the two of you, however. Do not post on Tumblr; you lower the IQ of the entire Internet.

Notes: One seems to be obsessed with Simon and Garfunkel. Must find relationship between American musicians and “Sherlockians.”Fairly standard on other two. Continued fascination with the Hunger Games and Harry Potter.

Notes: One seems to be obsessed with Simon and Garfunkel. Must find relationship between American musicians and “Sherlockians.”
Fairly standard on other two. Continued fascination with the Hunger Games and Harry Potter.